tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-108120442012-02-20T19:05:42.005-05:00I am 34 years old. An Orthodox Jew. Female, healthy, friendly, successful in my work. I have never been kissed. This blog is my primal scream.Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.comBlogger551100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-28221806823960874972011-05-30T16:00:00.003-04:002011-06-01T15:16:53.126-04:00

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Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-18574001053936677532011-02-28T16:08:00.002-05:002011-02-28T16:26:50.750-05:00

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Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-91213202614149184292008-12-24T16:25:00.001-05:002008-12-24T16:27:11.496-05:00

The rest is commentary.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com58tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1165168587078938022006-12-03T12:53:00.000-05:002007-01-29T00:35:18.786-05:00

I have received so many emails from people asking what has become of me and they hope I am OK. It is nice to know that even through an anonymous blog there are so many people in the world who care about me. The reason I have not updated this blog is simply because there is nothing new to write. Yes I have been in Israel now for a few months and that is going well. I am making new friends and love

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com49tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1140525697267526962006-02-21T07:39:00.000-05:002006-11-24T00:48:13.353-05:00

The last few days I have been thinking about the man I recently dated and I have been feeling lonely. Part of me misses him very much and part of me knows that it is not him I miss but the him I wish he was, the him he would be if he were the person I could spend my life with. He is not that person, so what I really miss is that person, whereever he is.In so many ways my life is better than it

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com64tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1139510684746536742006-02-09T13:36:00.000-05:002006-07-17T17:45:59.420-04:00

It has been a while.I have been doing mostly OK. Baruch Hashem, I am not depressed any more and have even been able to lower the dose of my medication. I have been very productive in both work and outside of work and am basically all right. Of course I have my times when I am sad about being single but in general there is no reason to worry about me any more than you should worry about anyone

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1134315355573272632005-12-11T09:48:00.000-05:002006-02-21T19:39:17.023-05:00

I just had to spend an hour deleting comments. Some I deleted for various reasons but in particular I deleted the argument at the end of the last post, where a commenter was pretending to be the "blog admin" and was also pretending to be other commenters. That is not nice! I believe there is something called "netiquette" and pretending to be other commenters is not part of it! Please everyone,

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1133114763021855542005-11-27T13:02:00.000-05:002006-03-01T07:05:37.566-05:00

I do not want to write details about it now. I just wanted to let you know. I will write more when I have had time to process this.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1131112823310047912005-11-04T08:17:00.000-05:002005-12-19T10:54:41.806-05:00

I have posted an email address but I guess that post is buried deep within this blog so most people do not see it!Yes you can still reach me at shomernegiah at yahoo dot com. I read every email that goes to that address, but remind you all that I almost never answer.One of these days I will set up a gmail account since I think that gmail does not report the IP address of the sender. I have to

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1129834183866841322005-10-20T14:40:00.000-04:002006-07-17T08:30:49.923-04:00

I just received an email from a Masters student in Dance at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University in Manhattan.He choreographed a dance based on this blog (or whatever inspiration he got from this blog) and it is showing at Tisch for the next three nights! Wow, how cool is that!I myself am not in New York right now (whether that is because I do not live there or because I am on

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1129063120047133142005-10-11T16:34:00.000-04:002006-01-04T15:21:25.500-05:00

I have read all the comments to my latest post. I thank all those who are supportive of me, each in his own way. I want to emphasize that most of the people who are expressing sadness that I have broken halacha do not offend me in any way. I agree with them. It is very sad that I have remained single and could no longer wait to feel some basic human tenderness. It is sad that my loneliness

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com78tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1128946457485704152005-10-10T08:02:00.000-04:002006-06-16T10:43:29.116-04:00

Wow. Wow.I wrote a long post describing how it was, how good he was to me and cuddled with me first and how nice that felt. I did not like kissing while we were standing up but sitting down it was much better, even though it still felt very strange.And I wrote how in the middle of it I had to stop for a few minutes because I felt sick from all the excitement and fear coming up. I was afraid I

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com132tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1128844794755975462005-10-09T03:49:00.000-04:002005-10-09T03:59:54.776-04:00

This is a very difficult post to write. It is hard for me to admit to myself some of the thoughts and rationalizations that have been going on through my mind for the last few days. Much less write about it for anyone to read on the internet. But as always this blog is an important outlet for me and so I hope that writing will help me to clarify things to myself as well as to whomever might read

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1128263221172350662005-10-02T10:23:00.000-04:002006-02-10T22:49:57.150-05:00

Even though I rarely respond to the comments on my blog I do read all the comments that are left here for me and appreciate them very much, especially the supportive ones.Some people have left comments with questions that I think should be answered either because they are very good questions or because I want to emphasize the answers, or because the question is funny. So here are responses to

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1128249607510118732005-10-02T06:33:00.000-04:002005-10-02T07:55:26.403-04:00

I have been seeing someone for almost a month! We do not get to see each other very much because it is a long-distance drive between us but we have met a few times and talk on the phone almost every day. He is so very good to me. I feel blessed to have found him.A few days ago I told him that I have never been kissed. I had noticed that despite the fact that he is very religious otherwise we were

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com34tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1119454530830048232005-06-22T11:22:00.000-04:002005-06-22T11:35:30.836-04:00

There are different kinds of people who leave comments on this blog and sometimes even the same person might have lots of different kinds of things to say. It is the magic of blogs and a gift from Hakadosh Baruch Hu that in the loneliest aspect of my life I can find a way to get feedback from so many other people. In general there are three kinds of comments from my perspective, the ones I love,

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com78tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1118143819117085742005-06-07T07:26:00.000-04:002006-10-29T18:11:02.070-05:00

I have gotten requests by email and in the comments to put up a new post to tell you all how I am doing. I appreciate all the concern shown to me. It makes me feel good.One reason I have not posted for many weeks is that I have nothing very new to say. Since the last post I have had a few dates but none of them “turned into anything.” My depression is slowly getting better, I continue to

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com71tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113301161348241772005-04-12T06:18:00.000-04:002006-01-05T15:05:43.866-05:00

This is the last post on this blog for the forseeable future.I started this blog really as a “primal scream.” I was hurting so much and needed to express all the pain I was in. I felt angry at halacha for the fact that I had never been kissed and angry at Jewish men and the Jewish community for the fact that I was alone. Not all those feelings were rational but they were what was inside and I

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com117tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113299220691315342005-04-12T05:45:00.000-04:002007-01-29T03:02:44.220-05:00

This is probably the hardest post I have written so far. It has gone through many many drafts. I hope it is finished now because the time has come to post it already!When other bloggers first discovered this blog and started commenting about it a response I saw a lot, mostly from bloggers who are not observant, was something like “Is this what Judaism has come to, making someone suffer so much

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113216608024879992005-04-11T06:44:00.000-04:002007-02-09T09:37:23.176-05:00

Someone brought up in the comments the issue that the longer people are single the more likely they are to stop being frum or at least to become less frum than they were when they were younger.As I mentioned in one of my first posts when I was in my early twenties I did not understand this. I thought that if someone believes in Torah and halachah then it should not matter whether they are married

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113215763515568532005-04-11T06:34:00.000-04:002005-04-11T06:36:03.516-04:00

In the comments to my last post people asked what they are supposed to say to singles. I want to emphasize that I am not saying that the phrase “I hope you find your bashert soon” is bad. Of course it is the natural response to everything I have written in my blog and I appreciate that people are wishing me well. I was just using it to illustrate a point not to say that that comment annoys me (

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113150360901391812005-04-10T12:19:00.000-04:002005-04-10T12:26:00.903-04:00

Many of the people who have left comments have said either “I am sure you will find your bashert soon” or “I hope you find your bashert soon.” Both of those are very well meaning responses to my blog but I think they point to some basic problems which I want to point out:First are the people who write “I hope you get married soon.” This is very well meaning but I want to point out that if that is

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113148676066896552005-04-10T11:56:00.000-04:002006-05-01T16:30:29.846-04:00

A few days ago I got very annoyed by many of the comments and deleted some because some commenters left “advice” that I believed to be not only irrelevent to my situation but possibly harmful to other people who might read it. Then other readers reacted to them and the commenters ended up having arguments about issues that had very little to do with being S.N. so I just erased the whole thing,

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1113145831316923742005-04-10T10:50:00.000-04:002005-04-10T11:10:31.316-04:00

Before closing this blog I want to thank the other nice bloggers who have linked to this one and sent me many visitors. I apologize if I am leaving anyone out, these are just the blogs that I noticed sent me many many visitors. I did not make a complete list of every blog that has linked to mine, sorry. But thanks to everyone who linked to this and forwarded the link by email this blog has gotten

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112873004374384352005-04-07T07:19:00.000-04:002005-04-07T07:23:24.376-04:00

There are many things in the comments I want to respond to. I am trying to compose my thoughts.If no new issues come up in the comments then I have just three or four more posts to write and then the blog will be done.The blog will not be taken off the internet. It will stay up for people to find and read in future. Just I will not keep posting. Perhaps I will write updates now and then if

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com29tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112869726894982782005-04-07T06:26:00.000-04:002005-04-07T06:28:46.896-04:00

Lately there has been a good-looking man who touches my hand for professional reasons. Let us say that he is a violin teacher or an occupational therapist or something like that.He does not just touch my hand, he holds my wrist and moves my fingers. Do you remember the scene in “The Age of Innocence” where the main character and the countess are in the back of a carriage and he unbuttons her

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112869456260784302005-04-07T06:22:00.000-04:002005-04-07T06:24:16.260-04:00

Soon it will be my 35th birthday.I will say to myself“Today is ______’s birthday. How old is she?1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. 32. 33. 34. 35.Thirty-five years old.And never been kissed by . . . anyone.”

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112869285765446332005-04-07T06:11:00.000-04:002005-04-07T06:21:25.766-04:00

I was talking once with a married friend about the upcoming birth of her first baby. My friend is fond of natural remedies and yoga and such things and she was very opposed to epidurals. She was very judgemental against women who had epidurals until her rebbetzin told her that for some women, the pain of childbirth is so great that it causes wounds not just physically but on their soul. Some

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112614028722495412005-04-04T07:07:00.000-04:002006-07-09T02:30:22.346-04:00

I have many things to say in response to comments and the e-mails I have received.Please in the future: Instead of calling yourself Anonymous please give yourself a pseudonym of some kind so it will be easier to differentiate between the comments. When posting click on “Other” rather than “Anonymous” in order to do it that way.Many of the comments have been very helpful and have given me chizzuk.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com67tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112612256972554202005-04-04T06:50:00.000-04:002005-04-04T06:57:36.973-04:00

I am surprised by how many men are surprised by how much I think about and look forward to sex. Unless of course it is the same man writing many anonymous comments. Anyway why should it be hard to understand that there is a spectrum of human sexuality? Some women who are S.N. are petrified of sex for one reason or another, some do not mind the idea of sex but do not particularly look forward to

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com40tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112565209923625542005-04-03T17:40:00.000-04:002006-10-23T11:52:01.546-04:00

One or two comments people have left are to the affect that “at least being Shomer Negiah is good practice for keeping the laws of Niddah.”That comment made me so unexpectedly angry that it took all my self-control (of which I clearly have perhaps too much) not to create havoc in my apartment by breaking everything in sight and screaming until I am hoarse (the primal scream!)What I have to say

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com36tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112509725907192122005-04-03T00:59:00.000-05:002005-04-03T01:28:45.906-05:00

In response to people who asked: No I have never had any major psychological trauma at least not any worse than most people. To be more specific my parents are still happily (most of the time) married to each other and I have never been physically or sexually abused. Sexually deprived but not abused! My family has their issues but so does everyone. I have issues and some baggage obviously but I

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112507372843095442005-04-03T00:39:00.000-05:002006-09-28T09:19:50.636-04:00

There has been some comments on this blog and others to the affect that “if she does not hurry up she will not be able to have children anymore!” Some commenters mean “you better hurry and marry someone, anyone,” and others mean “you better hurry and get pregnant with someone, anyone.” I have a few things to say to this.First of all I am not an ignoramus. Do you think I do not know that the “

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112335917785105812005-04-01T01:03:00.000-05:002005-04-01T01:11:57.790-05:00

There has been some curiosity about my dating history, I think because people want to be able to judge whether my loneliness is my own fault. I am going to tell you about my dating history so you can judge for yourself. I think that yes I have made some mistakes along the way but I hope you will agree that it is mostly just a matter of how things have turned out. It is a brutal world and

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112275122289722762005-03-31T08:16:00.000-05:002005-03-31T08:18:42.290-05:00

I think this blog will continue for another few days and then be done. I have a few more posts to write and some responses to comments and then I will have said everything I have to say on this topic. My points will have been more than thoroughly made.Thank you to the people who have emailed me already telling me about the similar issues you face even when it is not exactly like my story. I wish

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112274825170527392005-03-31T07:42:00.000-05:002005-03-31T08:13:45.173-05:00

I do not understand it. Some of you are saying I am a tzadekes and an inspiration when I am blogging about wishing I had an emotionally satisfying way to break this halacha and am thinking about starting to date non-Orthodox men! I do not understand that. Certainly there were times in my twenties that I almost broke the halacha with my boyfriends and would have if we would have gone out longer.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112272877219095062005-03-31T07:40:00.000-05:002005-12-13T06:02:47.026-05:00

At first I resented the comments of people who said “come on, just stop being Shomer Negiah. How ridiculously religious can you be?” because if they were saying “just stop” then obviously they did not read my blog carefully and did not understand how complicated this all is for me. With whom do they think I should be not-S.N.? A random man on the street? But after thinking about it I understand

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112271834093454192005-03-31T07:23:00.000-05:002005-03-31T07:23:54.093-05:00

On this blog and others people have suggested exercise as a way of relieving sexual tension. This is in fact a very good idea though for me it is better at preventing tension than relieving it. When I come home from the gym I do not miss sex as much as I do when I have not been exercising. For the readers who “relate” to my problem I highly recommend it.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112271749175542542005-03-31T07:20:00.000-05:002005-03-31T07:22:29.176-05:00

This non-Jewish man from Indiana who works on my floor, I cannot tell you how painful it is to work on the same floor with him. Sometimes when I am supposed to be working I am really thinking about what I would like to do with him on one of our desks after everyone else has gone home.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112185714851661982005-03-30T07:21:00.000-05:002006-07-06T00:26:27.540-04:00

Some commenters have asked for an email address for me. I have set up this address: shomernegiah@yahoo.comThe problem with email is that if I send an email to a reader then you will be able to see my IP address which will tell you where I live. So you can email me at that address if you do not want to post a comment on the blog but I will not respond to it. I will only read it. I am sorry.

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112185223176301532005-03-30T07:13:00.000-05:002006-01-29T00:57:05.110-05:00

I have noticed in the comments of some other blogs that linked to this one that some people are angry on my behalf. They wonder if being Shomer Negiah is what Judaism is “about” and pointed out that our religion is not meant to be ascetic. We do not have nuns in Judaism which is basically what I have become. Actually I feel not so much like a nun and more like a virgin sacrifice on the alter of “

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112184521224349742005-03-30T07:07:00.000-05:002005-03-30T07:08:41.223-05:00

In response to comments I have seen on other blogs I want to emphasize that I do have physical contact with other people sometimes. I get hugs from people in my family, both male and female. I have nieces and nephews and we cuddle and kiss and play. As I wrote in my first post there are times in my professional work that I touch other people including men.The topic of this blog is my lack of

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112184372025752082005-03-30T07:03:00.000-05:002007-01-05T11:08:08.380-05:00

Many years ago in high school I heard Judge Daniel Butler of Pittsburgh speak at an event about someone in his family who was an American soldier who liberated a Nazi concentration camp at the end of World War II. The concentration camp had many children who had survived but they were sick and hungry. The soldiers started giving out food to them and the children made a line to receive the

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112099079977058582005-03-29T07:16:00.000-05:002005-03-29T07:24:39.980-05:00

What pleases me about most of the comments which other people have left here is that almost everyone is trying to help me. Though, I wish I could confront in person the person who said that vibrators raise expectations too much. Did that person read my blog? I have a choice between shall we say “relieving the tension” myself or committing suicide. That commenter is a self righteous person and I

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com45tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112096545435290022005-03-29T06:40:00.000-05:002006-03-31T14:52:07.340-05:00

All the time, I am afraid of being raped. Imagine if my only experience with sex ever in my life was a violent one. Imagine if after “saving myself” for 34 years for someone who loves me enough to marry me if I was violated by someone who was just helping himself. I think they would have to institutionalize me. Always, I am careful of where I park my car and where I walk alone at night. Always, I

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112095744371578742005-03-29T06:28:00.000-05:002005-03-29T06:29:04.373-05:00

I wrote that women I know who have been not-S.N. in some of their relationships seem more comfortable than I am in their sexuality (which was refuted by some commenters). You might say: but Nice Jewish Girl, I thought you said you have owned three vibrators! You must be very comfortable.The difference is that everything I know about my own sexuality is based on fantasy and on conjecture. I know

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1112055704186809022005-03-28T19:15:00.000-05:002005-03-28T19:26:07.430-05:00

Thank you to all the nice bloggers who linked to my site, especially to Renegade Rebbetzin, Bloghead, and most especially to Esther for saying I am Jewlicious. Being called Jewlicious moved me very much. Lately I have been feeling that my commitment all these years to being Shomer Negiah has been pathetic rather than holy. Esther reminded me that I have been strong, in ways apparently which most

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1111282786084843752005-03-19T20:35:00.000-05:002005-03-19T20:39:46.086-05:00

If I ever have a daughter, what will I tell her about being Shomer Negiah? What will I try to encourage her to do or not do? I know what I should say. I know that since I actually have kept this very difficult halacha for many years that I can be a role model, I can say “it can be done, it is hard, but be strong because you can do it.” But. But. But. But can I honestly say “it is worth it”? Maybe

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com42tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1111110642195120912005-03-17T20:47:00.000-05:002005-03-17T20:50:42.196-05:00

I have been thinking about my last post from Tuesday . . .What is more important for me to discuss with a rabbi is my mixed feelings about the fact that I have been S.N. all this time. I wrote in my first post that I do not regret it. I know women who were physically intimate with their boyfriends to one degree or another, and afterwards when they broke up the fact that they had done that did not

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1110937117164882782005-03-15T20:31:00.000-05:002005-03-15T20:38:37.166-05:00

I sometimes consider going to a rabbi to talk about my problem. I would like to think and hope that a rabbi will have some spiritual guidance to give that would help me. But what could he say? He would not tell me that I have waited enough and it is alright for me to sleep with someone I hardly know. He would not tell me that I could date non-religious Jews or non-Jews in order to increase my

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1110936543683156472005-03-15T20:24:00.000-05:002005-03-15T20:29:56.226-05:00

I am worried that some people might read my blog and think about some woman they know who is Shomer Negiah and smirk inside thinking “inside she just thinks about sex all the time and really needs to get laid.”So I wish to emphasize that yes I am Shomer Negiah and I am sexually deprived but I am many other things also. Being S.N. does not define who I am. It does define this blog but not me. I

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1110279267029452412005-03-08T06:51:00.000-05:002005-03-08T05:54:27.030-05:00

There is a man I think about. He is a friend of my friend so I see him sometimes. He is exactly the physical type I am attracted to. He is devastatingly attractive in my eyes.He is not religious enough for me. He does not keep Shabbos. He does not keep kosher. He certainly is not S.N. He is just a friendly, handsome, Jewish man. I wish I could date him but I cannot or at least that is what I am

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1109768262638602792005-03-02T07:29:00.000-05:002006-11-17T12:44:55.666-05:00

I go to work and all day I think about sex. Well OK not all day, just whenever my mind is not occupied with something else. If I thought about Torah half as much as I think about sex . . . I don’t know. I would know a lot of Torah I suppose. When I meet an attractive man I think only about what it would feel like to have my hands in his hair. I have no coherent thoughts when a handsome man is

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1109075746804707572005-02-22T07:30:00.000-05:002006-06-09T09:09:31.856-04:00

Writing is not my best skill. In high school and college I got OK grades in English, but there are other things I am much better at. Writing does not come naturally to me.So why am I making a blog about something so personal?First, because in the last few years, being S.N. to me has become a little like living in jail. There is a world out there (my married friends, my not frum friends) who are

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10812044.post-1108896817064208472005-02-20T05:49:00.000-05:002007-02-22T02:44:55.756-05:00

I guess if anyone ever finds this blog their first question will be “why in the world are you (still) shomer negiah?” So I’ll start with that. But first you have to understand why I became shomer negiah in the first place.I did not grow up in an environment where being shomer negiah was expected of anyone. When I was young it was something that I heard about from friends in camp, school, and

Shomer Negiahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12261238339575922485noreply@blogger.com37